I can't answer that because 111 pounds of dog hair licked my nose as a way of saying, "Good morning, I would like breakfast now if this time meets with your satisfaction. You know, now that you are awake?"
Yeah it's big. Big Bertha. Gone to the Rock Star bus heavens....okay I am just being silly, she lives in Quebec with a lovely new family of 2 only.
We sold it. It was GREAT while it lasted but the kids stopped enjoying it as much as renting cottages in places we travel too. Okay I lie. I couldn't fucking stand having more than one person in that hallway at a time. Yes, yes, I am a Rock Star snob. Fine, so be it.
Out of bed I got and got the fur ball his breakfast. As I stood over him and waited for him to finish so I could wipe his royal highness's beard, I laughed at the fact I was standing over him waiting to serve him further.
His Royal Highness, Riley Roo. That beard gets a lot of food in it and water, he carries a lake to your lap in it. There's a towel at every bowl.
After finishing with the royalty I left him to do his business and hopped in the car to head to town for groceries and my coffee. I always go into town to the drive through for a Tim Horton's coffee. Some don't call it coffee, it's been my addiction since I took on drinking the stuff. I almost always, unless on an island, find a Tim Horton's drive through for breakfast. I only have one coffee a day, I want my TH!
We live on 5 acres and have a doggy door so the royalty can come and go as he pleases. He always just waits at the back door for me anyways and with one of the kids in the house, he stays inside protecting. In case you were wondering why I fed my dog and just left. We are off the beaten path/main road and the dog is; a) lazy and b) very home instinctive. He literally waits at the back door for us. The mail lady actually puts him back in the house when she comes and I am not here. He just wants a person or the house, preferably both.
As I left here this morning I saw a wee turtle crossing the country road. I quickly and excitedly stopped my car mid road (I hate people and want to stop them from running the things over so yes, I block turtles with my entire vehicle) and got out to assist. First, one must inspect said turtle for the knowing signs of a snapper. Snapping turtles look like a turtle straight out of the pre-historic age, all spiny and snappy. They will snap at your approach. Their claws are harsh. I learned what one was years ago hopping out of a moving vehicle to "save the turtle" and it was a snapper. When I picked it up it's head shot out and around and it almost got my hand as I heard my husband yell, "....a snapper". I walked briskly back to the car, hopped in the passenger seat, turned to my hubster and said, "You do it". He smartly used a hockey stick. This little fella this morning was just a painted turtle, just a regular turtle, indigenous to the area with little red marks on them. They have an official name but we are on informal terms now. I picked him up and moved him off the road in the direction he was headed. They ask that you do that, the tree huggers do. They ask because humans are stupid and if a turtle is headed West and you turn him East, guess what? He's gonna turn around and head West across the same road you just moved him from.
After my rescue mission I headed the rest of the way into town to get my coffee and a few groceries for the kids. At Tim Horton's I ordered a sandwich biscuit for my kid, barf. I can't stand them but he seems to like them and at least it gets him eating something for breakfast which he tends not to want. I ordered my coffee and headed to the window. At the window because I am so used to just getting my coffee, I paid and left with my coffee, only. Someone behind me in line I hope got a nice free breakfast barf biscuit. It's my good deed for the day. That and telling my child I left his sandwich at the store. I made him a great one with fresh ingredients and first bite he looked at me like "it's no fast food but it will do". Bugger.
I think the kid forgot where he was or who I was when he said with his sandwich, "Can I make a drink?". What kind of drink I thought and asked. "A mixed drink with like coke". "Like with alcohol?" I asked at 11:45am? "Yeah". Okay kid. We need to have a wee talk. I am not Mother Theresa. I don't see the good in all things and people. Right now I am considering putting a 16 year old over my knee and swatting some sense into him. "Did you just ask me that?" I said incredulously. "It's not even noon yet?" "Oh", he says, "my watch must be off". WTF? I let it go. I think my expression and shock woke him up. He literally had just gotten out of bed. Toothpaste was still on his breath with his sandwich I had just made him. If he wanted a Jack and Coke he should have gone to a bar for breakfast. I don't know what's going on outside of this house but I look forward to hearing what his Father finds out. The first thing I did was email his Dad and say, "I am out, I am not THIS cool, not at all". This kid has a lot of grown up toys around here. Sea doos, 4 wheelers etc. I am of the mind they all get sold if this is the behaviour he is used too. I don't want him alone with anything that moves. He wants to go 4 wheeling with his Dad later. Wonder if he will want to take some brewskies along?
Anyone else have a 16 year old that's lost his marbles??? Mine has? HELP!
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