Saturday, May 3, 2014

DBPW - Day 90 Me and Dr. D

Well at least I heard him.

I got the information pack on publishing.

Bought some discount Hay House books.

And the bathroom I threw up in was clean and empty!

You HAVE to look at the positive in situations like these. I had a horrible flight down here, had the hotel from hell, then got stuck in the boonies but at a gorgeous hotel.  The end part is what I am focusing on.  By the time today had arrived I was well enough embroiled in my own emotions I am surprised I was well enough to get up out of bed.  I didn't sleep a wink last night thinking, what if, what if, what if....what if what Nicolle, you throw up?  How about making those dreams come true gurl!  I likely created my own destiny today but you know what?  I am in the middle of changing meds, I have Bi Polar, I haven't travelled alone in FOREVER.  I am pretty proud of myself.  I haven't cried once.  And things could have been fucking worse.  Imagine some of the restrooms you've seen!

You see you fine peeps who aren't on my Facebook wall I sat and listened to Hay House writer Dr. Wayne Dyer present his story(ies) this morning with a stomach that was screaming, "something's happening in here, don't ignore us, Imodium, phafft, shmodium".  At hour 2 I ran to the bathroom and threw up, kind of out of nowhere.  I went back in to listen more.  Thankfully I had chosen, with some others, to sit against the wall in the back of the room on the floor.  I didn't have to climb over 10 people while trying not to vomit on them.  Oh god how horrible would that have been?  At the hour 3 mark I got up quietly with all my things, headed to the washroom and sat for a while and allowed the violent things in my stomach happen as they wished.  It was not pretty, and not quiet.  Sorry TMI, I know, but there's a point coming.  No really, there is.  Thank god "DWD" (we're homies now Wayne and I, it's all DWD and NDW between us) was still speaking so I was alone in the washroom.  At that point I decided it was time to call a cab and head back to the hotel.  Once here I slept for 2 hours almost instantly after just a little more sickness.

Wayne Dyer was wonderful, I will give him that.  What I can also say was it was his story and a bit of a sale of his new book (Which I bought.  Well played sir, well played).  In the 3 hours I was there, of 6 today, I loved listening to him but I wasn't sure where the publishing part came in.  What I did get is the ability to enter into a publishing competition.  And today's program was streamed online live.  All I need now is to contact them, beg to watch because of illness and being crazy, present my 365 days of ALL THIS *waves her hands around all of herself*, and BAM, my book is published. 

So all in all, for a very rainy windy day in Florida with puking involved, this girl could be worse off but not any less proud of herself.  But why would I do any of that now?

I am really quite proud of me for taking this chance to come so far from home, alone, and do something I wouldn't normally have done.  I have to give a shout out to a girl I know, Steph Amann.  Without her, over a year ago, telling me to just "go for it, just talk to someone before you leave" I wouldn't have sat through a weekend course then either and knew what my potential was.  Perhaps you don't think I accomplished anything this weekend but then I feel sorry for you because in truth I accomplished a ton.  See the upside, see the potential for worse, so it's always better. 

I may not be going back tomorrow, I already made that decision, I want to come home now.  Being sick alone and anxious too is no fun.  And DWD is done for the weekend.  But I did this, I came here.  I was almost in a psychiatric ward two weeks ago on a three day (5150 aka the "Britney Spears").  Here I sit typing to you after having sat 50 feet from Wayne Dyer. 

I am doing okay. :)




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