Tuesday, April 8, 2014

DBPW - Day 65 Carb free? No, close to carb free...yeah better...


Well kids, it’s my first carb free day.  I can’t say I feel any better or any worse, not yet.  My bod-ay is probably still trying to figure out what hit it.   What you say Nicolle, no sugar, why?  Whyyyyeeeeee?  What is happening?  HAHA

 

I also changed my meds to meet what the doctor asked for, it too, no idea yet.  All I know is this, I am not low anymore.  That feeling of being lost is gone.  It’s so fucked up how rapidly it occurs.

 

I am 100% better today.  I want to be here, alive, and well.  I see the future bright, etc etc.  UGH!  I am annoyingly happy.  I even cleaned all my closets, okay most of them today.  Spring cleaning.  Talk about a happy camper.  Cleaning is happy head space.  I fondled shoes I have never worn.  Tried on clothes I wasn’t sure I wanted.  I made another bag to give away.  J  Always makes me feel good. 

 

This morning on my way to get my coffee a lady was walking along the side of the road, my side of the road.  I went wide to avoid her even though she was on the shoulder of the road.  There was a truck in the oncoming lane, not too close to me at all.  I got over back into my lane and the driver of the truck got closer and was exaggeratingly motioning with his hands and arms for me to get back into my lane.  I almost turned my car around to follow him so I could say, “Listen you, I was avoiding a pedestrian with plenty of room for us, there was no need for you to be a jackass”.  And I really thought about following him.  Then all I could do was shake my head and remember the guy didn’t know me, his hand waving didn’t mean anything about me. 

 

And that’s today thought, short and sweet.  What someone else does or says about you means nothing, has nothing, is nothing to do with, guess who?  YOU!  And if you remember that, life is so much easier to deal with.

 

Peace.

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