Monday, April 28, 2014

DBPW Day 85 Love....*sigh*

I love, love. 

I love feeling in love.

I love being in love.

I love remembering past love.

I love thinking of future loves growth.

I love, love.

I don't love myself enough.  That's a love I am working on.  I am a work in progress.


 

I love, love.

Is it wrong to love two men?  I love my husband with my heart and soul.  I still love my first ever love with romance and dreams in my heart.  They are very different loves, one is now, one is then.  One is real, one is a picture in a frame that's faded.  I don't want to go back, I just want to close my eyes and remember young romance.  The passion, the strength, and even the pain.  Then I want to open my eyes and jump into my husbands arms and find that safe place that says the world is okay.  The world can be trusted not to hurt me with my heart next to his.  They are very different loves.  But love none the less.  And a love right now I won't break for a walk down memory lane, know that.   I am just talking feelings not actions, not romancing.  I love still knowing my first love is out there with love in his heart for me as a friend as I do him.  Is that wrong?  My husband knows this, he knows we are friends and I will always love him.

I loved myself very differently during those times too.  At both times I didn't love myself, but then, I didn't know why and today, I do.  Then I didn't think I had work to do on myself, today I know I do.  Then it didn't matter if I should love myself.  Now I know it does.

Is it wrong to love multiple women at one time, none competing for my love?  I have more sisters than my mother ever gave birth too.  Some with my since my own birth, some picked up along the way, some in my life a short time, some online loves even.  Are any of these less than the other, less important to me?  Is there room in my heart for all this love?  There is.  My heart pumps blood throughout my whole body therefore my whole body is alive from love.  

So yes, I love, I love a lot. 


Back in my youth, I spent time making men and women jealous because I needed to ensure I was loved by my man and envied by woman.  It was how I found love in myself.  I needed to impress others to have any self worth.  Today, I spend no time making my man jealous or looking for envy from woman because I don't need to ensure love, I believe it as best I know how.  And I don't need to impress anyone, least not to improve my self worth I don't. 



Be Yourself - be true to yourself, deep down you know who you are or you have an idea.  Don't "perform", don't please others, just be you.

Accept Yourself - if you are yourself and just being you, it's much easier to accept yourself for who you are as there is no other you to compare yourself too. 

Value Yourself - look at who you are, look at what you do, look at how you think, look at all the beautiful things that make up you and place value upon them.  Irreplaceable value, as if you are gone, you are uniquely you and irreplaceable.

Forgive Yourself - if you are your true self, if you have accepted yourself and given yourself value then you will find it unreasonable to hold a grudge on yourself. 

Bless Yourself - give yourself thanks and blessing for all that you are and all that you will be.

Express Yourself - never hold back for the things we don't say are most likely the things that will be best said. 

Trust Yourself - if you have done all the above, trust will be implicitly part of the package.  You will not need to work to honor yourself.

Love Yourself - for all your flaws, for all your gifts, for all your blessings, just love.

Empower Yourself - with all the above you are a force to be reckoned with.  You already are empowered.

Love.





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