In the past I used these gossip rags to shut down my brain and look at fancy pictures of stars in the same outfit under "Who Wore it Best", or the online entertainment news outlets. I looked them up almost daily. Even when I worked full time, I would arrive at the office at 7am and enjoy catching up with ma' news via Pink is the New Blog, a personal favorite, over my morning coffee. Lately however, I am finding myself falling behind. My unread magazine pile, most on subscription, is half a foot high and I am enjoying Canadian Living and House and Home more than the old gossip rags. I don't know what's happening to me. Not to worry, I see the doctor next week.
Back to the Kardashians. I have not kept up with the Kardashians. I believe they are in reruns on a few channels which means the show has been syndicated and they are making millions and that hurts a girl. I have now done my homework and these people, are not famous worthy. Much like Paris Hilton, who has left the limelight, thank god, this family is famous for, well, nothing.
Robert Kardashian Sr. was a pretty big deal lawyer, he represented OJ Simpson, and we all know how that turned out. He did his job and then some. Thankfully Karma did hers later on. OJ finally got what he deserved, he was tossed in the slammer. Robert Sr. had 4 kids, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Robert Jr. He was married to Kris (now Jenner) for 13 years. K seems to be their favorite letter and evidence of their creative minds. That and "junior" = creative. He and Kris split in 1991, he died in 2003. I stopped researching at this point as I was annoying myself and my brain hurt. The rest I can fill in myself. Kris Kardashian, Mama Kardashian, then married Bruce Jenner, famous Olympic Decathlon athlete. They had two kids, Kendall and Kylie. See what I mean about the K's, it's a little ridiculous now.
Even at this point, no one is all that famous....yet. And they all have their own god given faces, still.
Kim Kardashian taped herself having sex with her boyfriend. And this is where the phrase "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" came from. Causer her whole family said "thanks" and her boyfriend got the "wham bam" part. The tape leaked, next thing you know...we were "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and they are making millions along with Ryan Seacrest, one of the Executive Producers (the money man) behind the show. Bet you didn't know that little tidbit did ya?
I do not kid when I say, that when I was a wee younger and trimmer, had I know what a sex tape had potential to do for you, I would have made one. Damn straight I would. Would you???
All this ties into who Scott Disick is. He is the boyfriend or fiance of Kourtney Kardashian and they have two children together, a boy and a girl with boy and girl names not starting with K's, I believe. If you look up the biography of Mr. Disick who runs around on the show being a pompous ass wipe in ugly over priced suits looking a little like Professor Plum in the board game Clue. He claims to be an American reality television personality, model and businessman. I can confirm the reality part. For now anyways. Apparently he and that K girl fight a lot but he begs for her back, and she takes him. I mean she is the wallet so I would beg too I suppose. As for model, I can confirm that as well. See below for your amusement:
Isn't he just the dreamiest?
As for businessman, if you mean knocking up his girlfriend continuously so he can remain on TV, then yes, he is one.
Now I have no problems with how these people made their money. So long as the family Mom or Dad didn't make the sex tape themselves to gain this fame, whatever. I have a problem with society finding this all so amusing they've kept it on the air for some time like Honey Boo Boo, My Strange Addiction, and Jerry Springer (is he still on?). I wish we were better than this. As I type this blog about it. Ironic.
You know I am getting to the part where I am thoroughly annoyed and want to hit someone right?
What I dislike, or even hate, is that this ass wipe thinks these pictures are okay so I am going to caption them myself for both our entertainment:
This is how much I made for being a sperm donor. It keeps me warm at night.
I claim to wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills but we both know that's not true. If she tires of me I need to have some money hidden offshore or I am fucked as that "businessman" bullshit is just that, bullshit. The only business I go downtown for is my husbandry duties.
Maybe that's my pink purse, don't judge. And perhaps, just perhaps the money is looking a little more monopoly like in this picture. And maybe that's actually what I wipe my ass with.
DOUCHEBAG. That's all I really have for this photo.
And that's me Keeping up with the Kardashians. My personal Scott (I am a) Dick-....wait, that's not how it's spelled, is it? That would explain so much.
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