Miley Cyrus....I refuse to say the word that rhymes with "working"....

Here's the thing, this dance everyone's doing and talking about was created by my friend Michele "the Bullet" we named her years ago.  She's been grabbing her ankles shakin' what mamma gave her, shakin' her money maker, since I met her 15, maybe 20 years ago.  Why all the sudden everyone is talking about it like it's a new thing is beyond me.  It's like that Harlem thing, let's move on.  Please god help me, move on.

To that point though, if everyone is doing it, why then is it shocking a 20 year old would do it?  Or that a 20 year old might get high and do it?  At a bar or on stage, she's been on stage all her life, to her it's like going to a bar.  So that's the dancing part answered, she's 20 and was likely wasted.  Oh and it's the MTV awards, not Kids Choice, not the Grammy's, not the Oscars.  It's a stupid show about Music Video's.  Music Video's where some dudes slap women's asses, roll around in money, and smoke pot in a $100 bill.  Get it?  Hardly shocking.  And they win awards like "best doobie in a video".

Anyone remember Rhianna and Britney doing "whips and chains make me horny" or something or other.  Rhianna writhing on a hand outstretched through the stage, both of them tied in whips and chains.

Or Britney and Madonna tonguing each other, a lot.

Why is the fact that a 20 year old road a foam finger and ground her badonkadonk against a man's junk so terrifying?  Especially a man who just made a farce music video where he posts the fact he has a big dick and rubs all over naked women.  Just for the sake of getting his name out there ala shock value.  Did I mention I love that stupid bloody song?  It's awfully catchy that tune.

This is where we are at people, get used to it.  Simply teach our kids how it's all in the name of humour and ridiculousness.  You can't possibly take it seriously.  And neither should they.  That musicians are hardly the idols or role models they should be looking to.  How about your local fireman, cop, or wait, the parent.  Let's have our kids model themselves after something in the real world and not the fantasy bullshit of music or Disney kids gone wild.  You can't possibly be taking this shit serious, are you?  How can you? 

If you can't let go this kid is no longer Hannah Montana....really?  That was a TV show right?  You know that?  That there are no real Witches of Eastwick or Wizards of Waverly Place.   That the Young and the Restless is not factual, kids do not actually grow in dog years.  You know this right?

Here's what Miley herself said;

"I don't pay attention to the negative because I've seen this play out so many times," she told MTV.com in an interview that took place just three days after her much-talked about performance with Robin Thicke. "How many times have we seen this play out in pop music?"

"Madonna's done it. Britney's done it. Every VMA performance, that's what you're looking for; you're wanting to make history," she added. "What's amazing is I think now, we're three days later and people are still talking about it. They're over thinking it."

You are over thinking this.  You made history alright girl.  As one of the silliest performances ever but pretty cool as high as you probably were you didn't fall over, not once!  Good for you girl.

As I said earlier, this is no longer Hannah Montana and if you expect her to be you are going to be sadly let down.  See time passes, people age, sometimes they even change.  She is not for little girls anymore, it's not appropriate and even she knows it.  She doesn't want to be any one's role model, she's screamin' I am 20, move on!  If you don't I will continue to shock you until you do.  I am 20!

Did you know she and Thicke agreed to NO, none, not a minute of rehearsals?  They were just going have fun, be stupid and enjoy it.  His wife thought it hysterical and yet half the world is talking about it.  How society is changing.  Would you like to know what's changing society?  What you should be worrying about?  It's not Miley Cyrus, but the nuclear waste seeping into the worlds oceans and seas from Japan.  The power of China and North Korea.  That scares me more than a kid humping a giant teddy bear.  Or maybe you could worry about the USA's economic mess.  All that shit; that's changing the world.  If you think it's Miley Cyrus, I think you should look to Honey Boo Boo.  Start there and work your way UP to Cyrus.

And frankly if I want to shake my ass at a giant teddy bear and hump a spongy finger I will damn well do so.  I am not showing either disrespect, in fact, I am showing them love.  See how you can spin that.  Or you can choose to put way too much importance on a sponge finger.  That scares me a bit.  How is a sponge finger indicative of today's world??  I am betting the finger loved it. 

Everyone needs to stop and realize least Cyrus did not turn out like this Disney gem:

Damn it, this picture scares the crap outta me each time I see it.  Every single time.  And I know it's there, I PUT it there.  Akkkkk.

Or this little gem:

5 arrests later, 90 days in rehab....let's see how she holds it together, hopefully better than this dress is holding her.

And then back to Miley.  Oh no, she's riding a giant ball.

Look at her figure, does she look sick to you?  Like she's not taking care of herself?   Like she's a meth addict or psychotic (see above).  The song's called Wrecking Ball, kinda makes sense she's on a .....look at that, a Wrecking Ball.

This is Rhianna on Instagram.  All her fans, including teens are on Instagram and this is one of her posts.  I think she lost part of her shorts.  This cannot be comfortable, at all. 

But god help us Miley is acting 20!!!

The only problem I have with all of this is Miley's tongue.  I find it annoying that it's always out.  Put that fucking thing back in your mouth or have it shortened if it doesn't fit or I might just find you and staple that damn thing back in already.