Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Hiccups

Had I labeled this post, "Meditation", I'd have lost the few that actually read this.  I am going to keep it really, really, short.  By using double words like that, short.

Today I had the hiccups and I hate them.  And I have had them in the past until I am almost throwing up because they lasted so long.  I get frustrated as I cannot get rid of them, which knots up and stiffens your diaphragm more, and keeps them going and going and going until your only (my only) recourse is some sort of big pharma knock me out pill.  Can't have the hiccups when you are passed out, muscles relaxed, cold now can you?

A hiccup (/ˈhɪkəp/ HIK-əp; also spelled hiccough) is an involuntary contraction (myoclonic jerk) of the diaphragm that may repeat several times per minute. In medicine it is known as synchronous diaphragmatic flutter (SDF), or singultus, Latin for the act of catching one's breath while sobbing.[1] The hiccup is an involuntary action involving a reflex arc.[1] Once triggered, the reflex causes a strong contraction of the diaphragm followed about 0.25 seconds later by closure of the vocal cords, which results in the classic "hic" sound. At the same time, the normal peristalsis of the esophagus is suppressed.[citation needed]
Hiccups may occur individually, or they may occur in bouts. The rhythm of the hiccup, or the time between hiccups, tends to be relatively constant.
A bout of hiccups, in general, resolves itself without intervention, although many home remedies are often used to attempt to shorten the duration.[2] Medical treatment is occasionally necessary in cases of chronic hiccups. 
Yeah, what they said above.
 
 

I've shivved someone for less.

If a pill will relax the diaphragm that much why the fuck can't I?  I am a big strong girl.  I have willpower.  I quit smoking and gained 30 pounds, that's some serious eating commitment there!  I broke up with a guy when I realized I wasn't his only girlfriend.  Do you know how hard that decision was?  I quit drinking just out of the blue one day.  Course that was a day after I had found myself waking up in the dog's bed.  I have strength of commitment people.

As many of you, those that read anything I write, know, I have taken some meditation classes for pain (injured back) and anxiety (the desire to kill strangers especially when in Toronto in my car).  I haven't followed it totally, I am not a die hard.  However, now and again, I sit down and meditate for 10 to 20 minutes.  While I stretch after a workout, I do the exercises of breathing and focusing my attention.  And when in Toronto with the idiots, I breathe, a lot.  More than most.  "Breathe in, big breath, blow out, big breath".  Lives have been saved.
I love how she's looking at her killer hands with a grin.  "All is lovely with the world".  And I am the crazy one?

When I got the hiccups today I did a little trick the leader of the cult, oooops I mean meditation course, taught us.  I focused entirely, eyes closed, no judgement of passing thoughts and focused on the hiccup itself.  Where it came from, how it felt, where it was in the body and I breathed, big breath in, big breath out.  It was no more than 3 hiccups and they were gone.  They were gone!!!  I, Nicolle Diane Weir, cured the hiccups.  I meditated, or for the amateurs out there, breathed my way out of them.  It works with the itchies too.  Got an itch.? Focus everything you have on the itch, think of nothing else, don't judge when your thoughts go elsewhere, bring them back gently to the itch.  Breathe in and breathe out, and you may just stop an itch.  Now if the itch is caused by crabs or fleas, that's doctor shit only.  I can't cure that shit.  *shiver*

I much prefer this to drinking from the back of a cup apparently through my mouth.  Which always ends up my nose, and I almost choke to death.  3 minutes later, sitting pretty, once my diaphragm flips back into position..."hiccup".  "Mother trucker!!!!"

I like to wear this outfit when I have the hiccups.

Can't hurt to try right?  It's only breathing. If it doesn't work for you don't hate mail me.  It may only work for those dedicating their lives to a calmer lifestyle.  AKA non working lazy asses like me.

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