Friday, July 12, 2013

Those fucking raisins!


This has got to be one of the funniest and truthful videos I have seen in a long time (see link below).  I am loving this new site UpWorthy.  They post all kinds of warm and fuzzy videos and considering I am about as warm and fuzzy as a porcupine, they are not hurting me at all.  I am not gonna lie, I am sick and tired of the news and even my obsession with Entertainment news.  All I ever read about, as that's mainly how this girl gets her news, online, is sad stories.  You know like the one where Swizzle Stick (Justin Biebers main homie) got arrested for a DUI.  Note: Spellcheck wanted me to change homie to hornier and that cracked me up.  Anyways, that DUI was shocking and saddening news.  I am not even sure he was of age when he drove that mirror Justin Bieber calls a car, drove past the cop, blinding him with the suns reflection.

Everything in the news today is harsh.  Calgary flooding, Toronto flooding, and the new movie, "Snakes on a Go Train".  I sure do hope that Samuel Jackson comes back to get "those mutha f*cking snakes off his train".  That's gold entertainment folks. Sorry back to the news.  It's all so sadly annoying.  I want to stop watching and reading, but then what would I have to get mad about.  And then this gem pops out of nowhere.  Apparently Facebook decided I needed UpWorthy because it magically appeared delicious right there, waiting for me to get all warm and fuzzy like I do when I drive in the city or eat an entire pie in the dark.

There is no truer post than this one about women.  Where upon a compliment we shoot it down and ourselves in the process.  It's almost what we've been trained to do because it triggers more compliments and perhaps, perhaps today I might go home, look in the mirror and believe what was said about me.  I might morph before my own eyes in the mirror and see my hair actually does look like Kate Hudson's.  Wouldn't that be a nice surprise. 

I had a friend once who upon compliment shoot down she replied simply, "I am not playing this game with you".  "What game", I said all up in arms, how dare she.  And she said simply, "the one where I try to convince you that you are indeed pretty".  Damn her and her secret Yoda mind reading skills.  I am sure it ended with me in the fetal position, it often does.  Why I am not sure because I am I don't remember the fetal position in the womb?  Do we just say that because we assume it was all cosy in there all protected like by our mommies?

I can get dressed and look in the mirror and think "not bad".  I can go out, walk past a window and think "not bad".  I can eat lunch, walk past the same window and think "you fucking fat troll".  That's because I am now looking at myself through the eyes of a girl with a full stomach.  Nothing has changed.  My belly hasn't even changed size.  On this day I ate a piece of lean turkey and a raisin for dessert and yet there I am judging myself like I binge ate the cookie aisle at my local grocers.  Which I don't recommend trying.  I know once you judge yourself with food in your belly you think, "well now I have gone and done it, might as well go full on gangbusters" but they frown at sampling all the cookies in the cookie aisle.  Who knew?

Once I have had that big lunch and I run into you watch out.  I am gonna talk about how bloated I feel, how stuffed I am (them raisins, do it every time), and hope that you will compliment me back into my original head space.  Don't worry it's not your job and it won't work anyways.  You are gonna say black, I will say "no white".  You will say black again, and I will defend my natural beauty and say white.  You will get zero satisfaction complimenting me.  Only I can look in a mirror and decide if I like myself, like what I see.  No amount of your compliments or raisins is going to change that fact.  I, women, need to start appreciating who they are, in, out, sideways, front and back. 

This video and these new Dove commercials are the best thing to happen to women since the Tampon ads, "that blue liquid, that's what its supposed to look like".  We need to stop judging ourselves so harshly.  Maybe we need to stop looking in mirrors, or better still, stop comparing ourselves to our younger selves, or other women.  I have to say, next to the 40 plus year old Jennifer Aniston, I don't feel all that pretty.  But I eat, a lot.  And I like it most of the time.  You know, when I am not being kicked out of a cookie aisle.  I work out when I can.  But it's not my job to look good like it is hers, it's her money maker.  But it is my job to love myself.

The best thing about this video is the ending where none of the girls can comprehend the gal taking the compliment.  That girl is so full of confidence the rest cannot stand to exist anymore, I mean how could they?  They just re-affirmed all the bad things they think about themselves and then saw a woman who liked herself.  How does that happen?  Who, what....I don't get it.

So watch the Dove commercials over and over.  Watch the video below over and over.  I hope something sticks.  I hope you can look in the mirror once a day and say at the very least, "not bad", it's a start anyways.  Whatever you do though, don't do it after raisins, they really do fuck with your head.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-female-comedian-made-a-public-service-announcement-for-women-watch-it-then-watch-yourself-6?c=ufb1

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