A lot of people ask me to run down the Oscars for them. Unfortunately due to a computer mishap, I am only just getting to the actual post and it's now Tuesday. The Oscars were Sunday. There is little point to my doing anything now. What I will do is give you the highlights, the lowlights, and some interesting information care of moi research that last couple of days.
With the world the way it is right now I think drivel is perfectly suited. Looking at famous people and what they wear is better than watching CNN go on about Kelly Ann Conway's comfort in the Oval Office or Trump's belief that Obama is trying to sabotage him. Both of those people will confidently deny their own demise one day. While they are working their way up to that, let's gossip about the good stuff, entertainment.
I was pleased to hear that the Oscar caterer Wolfgang Puck takes all the leftover food from the Oscar Governors Ball down to "skid row" in LA to the shelters. And yes, I am aware Puck is not a caterer but it made me laugh to say so. Puck announced the initiative in an interview saying, "so homeless people can feel exactly like Justin Timberlake". Hmmmm, I am not sure they will feel the same as JT. I am pretty sure that they will not be all that excited about the teeny tiny portion of fish eggs they will be served but I am happy to hear of the waste not, want not policy.
Speaking of JT I loved his opening number for the Oscars. I loved that they didn't have someone with little to no musical talent (insert every Oscar host in history) do an opening number. They are always so awful, setting a horrid tone for the evening. I was really pleased they did away with it. Watching JT sing and dance was exactly what the show needed. I loved it. I love him. And when I saw his wife join in the dancing with him I loved her more. They are my fantasy threesome. I got on the treadmill today. Preparing for it.
JT Opening number
Kimmel was Kimmel. It was his usual stuff and quite good. I didn't love it, or hate it. I laughed. That was good enough. Throughout the night he did a few things that were pretty fun. Twice at least Kimmel had the show drop food and candy from the ceiling to the stars in their seats via balloons. I think he was attempting to outdo Ellen's pizza delivery. It was much more creative that's for sure. But the best part of his hosting gig was when he brought in an actual busload of tourists right off their tour bus. They had no idea it was happening, the doors opened and these tourists walked down in front of the stage to all the A List actors in the front row of the seating. It was hilarious. Kimmel got Jennifer Aniston to give her sunglasses to a woman as a wedding present. Most of the tourists took selfies with the very accommodating stars. It was funny. The fiancee gal's face when Ryan Gosling kissed her on the cheek made my night. I have included Kimmel's opening monologue and then the bus bit.
JK Opening Monologue
Here is a picture of the candy falling from the skies. Some stars were all over that gluten, some light on fire immediately from just looking at it too long.
JKs Oscar Tour bus
And here is my favourite face from the tour bus bit. This gal was on her honeymoon in LA with her husband so they decided to take the famous places tour. She ended up with Jennifer Aniston's sunglasses and a kiss from Gosling. I'd say she had a good honeymoon.
"I am wearing Jen Aniston's glasses. WTF is happening?!"
At some point I should put up a list of the winners but really, she is (above), and if you haven't seen a list yet you live under a rock and aren't therefore able to read this so I won't bother.
This is JK holding up the child from the movie Lion singing the Lion King birth announcement scene.
At one point Kimmel pretended on a large projector of his iPhone to be tweeting the President of the United States. The first one simply said, "U UP?", follow by "Meryl says Hi".
This is what he said after one of La La Lands wins.
I truly don't understand why the winners find themselves unable to just get up on that stage and say simply, "THANK YOU – everyone I’ve ever worked with, lived with, laughed with, and loved, this is for you". Hmmmm that’s not so fucking hard. The poor music conductor is right there looking up at them, begging them with his eyes to keep it short so he doesn't have to be rude and play them off by the director of the show.
Viola Davis won, as usual. Apparently she is the new Meryl Streep and this is going to continue until she gets to 20 nominations like Meryl and can be labelled overrated by the President.
Viola gives good speech
After which Kimmel comes out to announce that Viola has been nominated for an Emmy for her speech.
There were bits throughout about who inspired the actors. One was with Charlize Theron and Shirley Maclain. Shirley looked great in her black sequinned pant suit. It was a cute little bit. I quite enjoyed it. Charlize looked weird to me for some reason, her face looked puffy. She had said recently she had to gain weight for a movie role and that she was "so fat". I noticed the puffiness in her face. Maybe that's all it was, a little weight gain. I remember thinking to myself at the time of her interview, "oh fuck off, fat is not this", and yet here I am picking apart her puffy face. So who is wrong here? I think both of us. She judged herself as much as I did about being "fat". Not cool. *slaps her own hand*
With the world the way it is right now I think drivel is perfectly suited. Looking at famous people and what they wear is better than watching CNN go on about Kelly Ann Conway's comfort in the Oval Office or Trump's belief that Obama is trying to sabotage him. Both of those people will confidently deny their own demise one day. While they are working their way up to that, let's gossip about the good stuff, entertainment.
I was pleased to hear that the Oscar caterer Wolfgang Puck takes all the leftover food from the Oscar Governors Ball down to "skid row" in LA to the shelters. And yes, I am aware Puck is not a caterer but it made me laugh to say so. Puck announced the initiative in an interview saying, "so homeless people can feel exactly like Justin Timberlake". Hmmmm, I am not sure they will feel the same as JT. I am pretty sure that they will not be all that excited about the teeny tiny portion of fish eggs they will be served but I am happy to hear of the waste not, want not policy.
Speaking of JT I loved his opening number for the Oscars. I loved that they didn't have someone with little to no musical talent (insert every Oscar host in history) do an opening number. They are always so awful, setting a horrid tone for the evening. I was really pleased they did away with it. Watching JT sing and dance was exactly what the show needed. I loved it. I love him. And when I saw his wife join in the dancing with him I loved her more. They are my fantasy threesome. I got on the treadmill today. Preparing for it.
JT Opening number
Kimmel was Kimmel. It was his usual stuff and quite good. I didn't love it, or hate it. I laughed. That was good enough. Throughout the night he did a few things that were pretty fun. Twice at least Kimmel had the show drop food and candy from the ceiling to the stars in their seats via balloons. I think he was attempting to outdo Ellen's pizza delivery. It was much more creative that's for sure. But the best part of his hosting gig was when he brought in an actual busload of tourists right off their tour bus. They had no idea it was happening, the doors opened and these tourists walked down in front of the stage to all the A List actors in the front row of the seating. It was hilarious. Kimmel got Jennifer Aniston to give her sunglasses to a woman as a wedding present. Most of the tourists took selfies with the very accommodating stars. It was funny. The fiancee gal's face when Ryan Gosling kissed her on the cheek made my night. I have included Kimmel's opening monologue and then the bus bit.
JK Opening Monologue
Here is a picture of the candy falling from the skies. Some stars were all over that gluten, some light on fire immediately from just looking at it too long.
JKs Oscar Tour bus
And here is my favourite face from the tour bus bit. This gal was on her honeymoon in LA with her husband so they decided to take the famous places tour. She ended up with Jennifer Aniston's sunglasses and a kiss from Gosling. I'd say she had a good honeymoon.
I love the selfie stick but her face is what makes my day.
At some point I should put up a list of the winners but really, she is (above), and if you haven't seen a list yet you live under a rock and aren't therefore able to read this so I won't bother.
This is JK holding up the child from the movie Lion singing the Lion King birth announcement scene.
At one point Kimmel pretended on a large projector of his iPhone to be tweeting the President of the United States. The first one simply said, "U UP?", follow by "Meryl says Hi".
This is what he said after one of La La Lands wins.
I truly don't understand why the winners find themselves unable to just get up on that stage and say simply, "THANK YOU – everyone I’ve ever worked with, lived with, laughed with, and loved, this is for you". Hmmmm that’s not so fucking hard. The poor music conductor is right there looking up at them, begging them with his eyes to keep it short so he doesn't have to be rude and play them off by the director of the show.
Viola Davis won, as usual. Apparently she is the new Meryl Streep and this is going to continue until she gets to 20 nominations like Meryl and can be labelled overrated by the President.
Viola gives good speech
After which Kimmel comes out to announce that Viola has been nominated for an Emmy for her speech.
There were bits throughout about who inspired the actors. One was with Charlize Theron and Shirley Maclain. Shirley looked great in her black sequinned pant suit. It was a cute little bit. I quite enjoyed it. Charlize looked weird to me for some reason, her face looked puffy. She had said recently she had to gain weight for a movie role and that she was "so fat". I noticed the puffiness in her face. Maybe that's all it was, a little weight gain. I remember thinking to myself at the time of her interview, "oh fuck off, fat is not this", and yet here I am picking apart her puffy face. So who is wrong here? I think both of us. She judged herself as much as I did about being "fat". Not cool. *slaps her own hand*
Best foreign film went to a film out of Iran who's director was not there to accept the award. He was not there per the letter read by his representative, "out of respect for the people being banned from entry into the USA by #45". Well done sir, well done.
Sting performed his song from the documentary about the journalist James Foley killed by ISIS and it was amazing.
Sting
Best foreign language film went to The White Helmets movie. Their acceptance speech was epic. And timely. At the end of their speech, what you don't see here, is when the crowd is asked to stand to honour those in Syria, both volunteers and the refugees, and they all did. The entire audience all stood in honour of them. The one director accepting the award on stage couldn't get her camera out in time to film it. She tried. I think she even said, "shit, I didn't get that", to which I said to the TV, "honey, I am pretty sure someone caught it". And now I can't find a video of them all standing. HAHA
White Helmets
Apparently Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have an ongoing feud, or joke about an ongoing feud for 10 plus years. That was front and centre all night. At one point Matt was presenting with Ben Affleck and each time it was Matt's turn to speak Jimmy Kimmel would start the orchestra playing Matt of stage like they do during the acceptance speeches. Then Ben would speak and it would be fine, then to Matt and the music would start. It was actually quite funny.
Jennifer Aniston sexily strode on stage as the lead in speaker for the "in memoriam". She struggled as I guess Bill Paxton was a friend, she choked on her words. Then Sara Baraellis sang the Joni Mitchell song Both Sides of Now and I cried.
Sara at the Oscars
Here is another of the inspiration bits lead by Jimmy Kimmel being inspired by the movie We Bought a Zoo. It was hilarious considering his feud with Damon.
We Bought A Zoo
It is, by the way, a really cute movie. I would recommend if you have kids. It's a cute family feel good movie.
Moonlight won for best adapted screenplay and the speech was another great.
Acceptance speech
Best actor went to Casey Affleck. I saw Manchester by the Sea and while I hated the ending with a passion, I liked the film. Even if I had to go on suicide watch after. It's dark and sad. It pulls your strings. I thought Affleck deserved the win. And I guess part of me still thinks he does for the acting part alone but what I didn't know was that Affleck was accused in 2010 of sexually harassing, accosting, abusing two women on the set of a film. The story is attached. I wondered why when handing him both the Globe and Oscar that last year's female winner didn't look at all impressed or happy giving him his award this year. Brie Larson was last years winner and she almost grimaced when reading his wins. It might be because she is a women's rights and abuse advocate and therefore she can barely tolerate Affleck. But being a class act she handed him his awards without causing a scene but she neither clapped or hugged him when doing so.
Affleck and Brie
White Helmets
Apparently Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have an ongoing feud, or joke about an ongoing feud for 10 plus years. That was front and centre all night. At one point Matt was presenting with Ben Affleck and each time it was Matt's turn to speak Jimmy Kimmel would start the orchestra playing Matt of stage like they do during the acceptance speeches. Then Ben would speak and it would be fine, then to Matt and the music would start. It was actually quite funny.
Jennifer Aniston sexily strode on stage as the lead in speaker for the "in memoriam". She struggled as I guess Bill Paxton was a friend, she choked on her words. Then Sara Baraellis sang the Joni Mitchell song Both Sides of Now and I cried.
Sara at the Oscars
Here is another of the inspiration bits lead by Jimmy Kimmel being inspired by the movie We Bought a Zoo. It was hilarious considering his feud with Damon.
We Bought A Zoo
It is, by the way, a really cute movie. I would recommend if you have kids. It's a cute family feel good movie.
Moonlight won for best adapted screenplay and the speech was another great.
Acceptance speech
Best actor went to Casey Affleck. I saw Manchester by the Sea and while I hated the ending with a passion, I liked the film. Even if I had to go on suicide watch after. It's dark and sad. It pulls your strings. I thought Affleck deserved the win. And I guess part of me still thinks he does for the acting part alone but what I didn't know was that Affleck was accused in 2010 of sexually harassing, accosting, abusing two women on the set of a film. The story is attached. I wondered why when handing him both the Globe and Oscar that last year's female winner didn't look at all impressed or happy giving him his award this year. Brie Larson was last years winner and she almost grimaced when reading his wins. It might be because she is a women's rights and abuse advocate and therefore she can barely tolerate Affleck. But being a class act she handed him his awards without causing a scene but she neither clapped or hugged him when doing so.
Affleck and Brie
Of course an Oscar with Kimmel hosting wouldn't be so without mean tweets so here is that little bitty.
Mean Tweets Oscar Style
Just because.
DeNiro
And then we have the end of the Oscars. The big win, the final moments, it all comes down to this. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway reading the wrong envelope awarding the Best Movie Oscar to La La Land when it was actually Moonlight. You could tell when Beatty opened the envelope he was confused. Why was Emma Stone's name on the announcement card alongside the movie La La Land? This can't be right he thought. You could actually see, if you go back and look, that he was very confused and when Faye Dunaway thought it was a joke and said as much he handed her the card and she just read the first movie title she saw. It was quite something. Here is Kimmel's take on it.
JKs take
This was a weird Oscar show for me. Some of the dresses, more so than usual, I found confusing. The final moments were weird, and this was definitely the only Oscar show I will ever watch while trolling the President of the United States Twitter feed.
Someone said after the awards, "who gives a shit?" and really, no one does. Maybe the actor does. Maybe the production company making the movie does. Probably the Actors agent does. But to the rest of us, this shit doesn't matter. Each year I struggle to actually see that many movies in a year. Often I make it through each season having only seen half the movies but they do go on a watch list after the award shows as I know I want to see them eventually. My watch list is very different than #45s, I can watch anything, anytime, all being welcome in my home.
Okay, there it is, now I have to go do up the Oscar after party fashion review.
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