“Wow I am
tired”, Sarah Jones muttered to herself.
She thought about having to get up for Church in the morning, for the
early service she had promised her Mother she wouldn’t miss again. She suddenly wished she hadn’t made that
promise, or agreed to the late shift at the grocery store. Laying her hand on
the tiny gold cross always worn on the chain around her neck she quickly
realized it was the late shift she regretted most. Church always gave her a sense of peace that
she didn’t find elsewhere. Even if that
peace sometimes came in the form of nodding off a little during the
sermon. As assistant manager she thought
proudly, sometimes a girl has to stay late and get the job done.
Sarah had
only just finished the day’s count.
Cash, credit and debit card receipts, and coupons all counted and
crossed checked to the day’s tally. She
was balanced to within three dollars and seventy-six cents and wondered if that
was a record. People make honest mistakes,
the store rarely balanced perfectly but this was close. All the cash was counted and in the bank
deposit bag hidden in the large purse she threw across her body. Her hand rested very protectively on it as
the she set the alarm in the store and locked the back store door behind
her. The store’s back door light was on
a timer allowing her to get to her car in as much light as a single lightbulb
offered. All staff had to park as far
from the grocery store doors as possible, both front and back doors. In the front allowing customers to come and
go as easily and conveniently as possible. In the back to allow for the delivery trucks to
drop off all day long and give space for the staff picnic tables used for quick
smoke breaks more often than eating, and where gossip flourished. Seeing the empty pop cans on the tables Sarah
did her final job of the night. Slowly
she began collecting them two and three at a time so as not to spill the
contents, often the dredges of leftover pop, ants and cigarette butts, on her
white uniform top she had somehow managed to keep clean on shift today. Her nose wrinkled at the thought as she made
four trips back and forth to the garbage dumpsters. Shaking her head, she thought about the sign
at the back door she had only just made which read, “please clean up after
yourselves before returning to work”. So
much for that idea she thought.
Just as she
finished her final chore of the night the timer on the back door light went off. Because it was the back of the store only two
street lights, spaced far apart, now offered lighting for the entire back lot.
Sarah could barely see her car parked down the way. She should have moved her car to the front of
the store she thought. She had been told
by one of the other assistant managers it was the better option if you had to
work late. There were more street lights
out front. The store backed onto an old
field readied for building pursuant to the fencing and construction signs. The field was expansive and dark, not yet lit
by the construction process. Fumbling
around in her bag Sarah found her key chain which had a tiny flashlight on it
and a whistle. “You can never be too
safe”, her father had told her when he presented the car keys to her the year
prior. It’s funny how she hadn’t really
thought about that statement before now.
At the time her entire focus was on the little bright red car that was
her 16th birthday present. While
gently used, not brand new, it was new to her and the greatest gift she’d ever
received. She had barely noticed the
keychain. Tonight she was thankful for
the wee flashlight. While tiny it
cleared a lit path for her to make way to her car.
Before
anything happened the hair on Sarah’s neck stood up. She quickened her pace to her car. There
wasn’t a sound. She saw nothing, but she
knew something was about to happen. When
Sarah came too she was in the tall grass, she assumed in the field behind the
store but she wasn’t sure. “Wasn’t the construction field fenced all around”,
she thought as she tried to get her bearings.
She hadn’t yet realized what was about to happen to her. She would never forget wondering, “how did I
get into the construction site?”, it was a strange thing to focus on she
thought for years after.
The man had
a mask on, just like the kind the robbers used in movies. Black, and knitted, covering his entire face
but the eyes and mouth. Eyes that were
wide and crazed, mouth that was spitting as it said, “if you scream or move, I
will kill you, then I will go to your home and kill your whole family”. Sarah wanted to fight back, she knew she
should, then she saw the image of her little sister in her mind. Her 10 year old flaxen haired sister, that
everyone said looked just like Sarah, and she held back the urge to fight. She wouldn’t kick and scream, she wouldn’t
fight him to the death. She wouldn’t
risk her sister. Her job as a big sister
was to protect her, and protect her should would. Steeling herself for what was to come Sarah
said through tears, “please don’t hurt me.
I have money, look in my purse.
There is a ton of cash in there from the store”. Only as those words left her mouth and a
breeze passed did Sarah realize she was basically naked. Her pants were gone. She knew that simply from the chill she got
which tuned her into her body and she felt the dirt and grass beneath her
behind. Her top was somehow off but
around her neck and the man had a hold of it, pulling it tight at her
throat. She didn’t know if her bra was
still there or gone like her pants, she just knew her breasts were exposed. The cold was causing her breasts to react in
a way that caused her breathtaking shame.
Then he was
inside of her. It happened so suddenly
she gasped in a way that embarrassed her.
“You like this don’t you?”, he said misreading her reaction. It hurt, a lot. More than she ever thought it might. She had never had sex. She had not yet made love with a man. This wasn’t love she thought, this was
hate. He hated her, he must. She hated him, she knew that. Each time he pushed further into her it hurt her
more. It was like sandpaper and glass
were shredding her insides. Turning her
head from him to focus on anything other than the hot foul breath in her face
she felt the sting of a slap and heard him grunt, “you look at me bitch”. With tears streaming down her face she stared
her rapist straight in the eyes and thought only of her sister and the life she
was ensuring she had by not fighting this evil man. It didn’t take long for him to finish. She could tell he was done she saw it in his
eyes. When he climbed off of her to pull
up his pants he said again, “don’t tell anyone, not the cops, not your family,
no one, or they all die”. The man stood,
bent to grab her purse she’d hadn’t even noticed was beside them, and he ran.
Sarah curled
into the fetal position and wept. She
wept for her innocence, now gone. She
wept for her family, would they all die if she told anyone? She wept angrily at the people who had left
their pop cans outside the store who delayed her departure surely causing this. She wept because she hadn’t moved her car to
the front of the store as the other manager had recommended her doing. Was it her fault? She just wept. She didn’t know how long she lay there, until
it suddenly dawned on her that she was freezing. Her teeth chattered, from cold, from fear? She didn’t know. Between her legs was screaming in pain. She’d never felt this kind of pain before,
like she’d been cut inside. Her backside
felt raw, like she’d been dragged over broken glass. And her head, her head was pounding. She reached around to touch it only to bring
back a hand covered in blood. She
retched. Throwing up all over herself
she retched relentlessly. The tears began
again. Anytime she’d been sick in her
life, her mother had been there to hold her hair and comfort her. She wanted her Mommy. She needed her. She was going to get to her she thought
angrily. Pulling her shirt down and back
over her breasts she realized her bra was still on her shoulders. She reattached the clasp in the front. Standing up pant less she began looking for
them. Her sneakers and socks were still
on. Weird she thought, “how did he get
my skinny jeans off and not my shoes?”, her mind was racing with the strangest
thoughts. She was desperately trying to
remember how this all happened. In the
moonlight she spotted her pants not far from where she was but her underwear
was not with her pants. She couldn’t
find them. Had he taken them? Why would he do that? She began to panic, where were they? Gathering herself she realized they hardly
mattered. He could have them, she needed
to get out of there. She struggled to
get her pants up and over her shoes again wondering how he had done it. As the pants made it to her thighs she saw blood. She had to steady herself from retching
again. Closing her eyes she pulled her pants up and zipped them closed just as
she had done that morning. Such a simple
task never to be repeated in the same mindless manner again.
Stumbling
in the darkness with just the moon now to light her way Sarah headed in the
direction of the only other lights she could see in the distance. She assumed them to be the two street lights
in the back lot of the store. They
weren’t far from her at all. She managed
to find the construction fence and making her way along it she found the gap in
the fencing. Her car was right
there! How had she never noticed the gap
in the fence before now? And there were
her keys, the little flashlight still shining a cone of light on the ground
illuminating the whistle attached. “Daddy”,
she gasped out loud and dropped to her knees the tears rushing again. Dad is going to be so angry with me. “I should have known better. This is my fault. I had the whistle. I knew something was wrong. I should have moved my car”, she thought
rapidly. Only a sound of rustling in the
bushes from behind her brought Sarah to her feet. She jumped practically out of her own skin. She grabbed her keys and launched herself
into her car locking the doors behind her.
She turned the key in the ignition and threw the car into drive. Sarah had no recollection of driving
home. Upon seeing her childhood house
Sarah jumped out of the car screaming for her parents one after the other. “Mom, Dad”.
The rest is a blur. Sarah awoke again,
came to, became aware of her surroundings in a hospital room as a nurse said,
“we are done now Sarah, you can rest. I
will come back and we will do the STD and pregnancy test”.
“Pregnancy
test”, Sarah whispered to herself and shuddered. “God please, please, no”.
After
reading Sarah’s story;
Tell me how you can vote for anyone who might take the right Sarah has to her own
uterus away from her.
Tell me how you’re not violating Sarah again by laying claim to her reproductive
system.
Tell me how you think Sarah should be punished if she chose to abort a pregnancy created
by this story.
Sarah is
not to blame here, he is. Therefore, she
should not be punished.
No really,
tell me how you believe you have any rights to this woman’s story, let alone
her uterus.
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