You can't be loved if you don't love yourself?

Well Spiritual Poet, you can go fuck yourself.  There are a ton of people out there, often mentally ill people, who struggle with their self worth.  And they find love.  It's harder for them and their partners sometimes as they figure out how not to make the other suffer for their own self loathing but it is more than possible to be loved when you don't love yourself.  Saying otherwise is harmful to so many people.  It's reckless to say these things.

What we are basically saying here is that if you are abused, verbally or physically, (or both), you deserve it if you don't love yourself.  If you have low self esteem then you are getting what you put out there.  The predator will see the self loathing and attack.  While that's not entirely untrue, they will find you, it does not mean you are at fault, or you deserved it.  It means they, the predator, the abuser, are a vulture.  

And anyone who says otherwise is being abusive to anyone and everyone with low self esteem.  "I wouldn't have to hit you if you just did the right thing".  I don't see the difference.  

Telling someone they deserve what they get when they are so obviously struggling with low self worth can lead to death. 

So....

I do believe what you put out there is what you get, but I believe that more in a "work hard, get results" kind of way.  If you don't eat right and exercise, you will not be healthy just because you want to be, you need to work for it.   Wanting money, will not make me rich.  Life doesn't work that way.  Working for money will make me wealthier. 

I am pretty confident that if someone is struggling with their self worth they can find someone who loves them for exactly who they are.  Perhaps someone else's love will encourage a person to love themselves.  And that, is a positive outcome.  I do not believe if you don't love yourself, and that's your "vibe", that you will never get love in return because the Universe doesn't work that way.  

Still, Universe or not, you must look in the right places for love, not the wrong.  Most people who do not love themselves pick horrible partners to re-affirm what they believe.  If you stop doing that, then you can be open to the right person.  Picking the right person is a matter of picking better than you think you deserve.  You do not actually have to be confident and self loving to do this, you just need to "make good choices".  You have to understand that if you are not getting love, the kind of love you've seen and heard of, maybe you don't even understand, then that is not the person for you.

I have seen a ton of confident, self loving people, get divorced.  

My husband Dan loves me more than I love myself, that is a fact.   His love is what made me decide to take on a  journey of self awareness.  I didn't do that for me, I did that for him.  And that's okay.  I still did it, I am doing it.  It doesn't matter how I got here.  The end result is me bettering myself and learning to love, myself, him, and everyone around us, more every day.  He saw this in me.  He saw what I was capable of before I even did.  And that my Universe people, that's a positive from a negative.  

In short, fuck you Universe and all those that say I didn't deserve this because of my vibe.  My vibe is struggling but she's pretty darn lucky all the same.  Some would say I deserve happiness even.