Golden Globes 2015 My Review - Because you asked

I just want it made perfectly clear that I watched the Golden Globes and wrote most of this with crumbs of a long devoured plate of Chelsea Buns and a bag of potato chips all over my favorite ripped and patched track pants.  It should be further noted that the crumbs that were not on my pants, were in my bra.  My hair was piled atop my head.  Done, much like the up do's you will see below, without the use of a mirror (or in my case, a stylist).  I had my fancy shoes on.  Faux sheep skin lined Croc slippers.  In other words, obviously, I am an expert.  That will hold up in court. 

These are in no particular order. 

 

Where is she?  She was just there.  Started to turn and....poof.....

 

 

One fucking sandwich.  It's all I ask.

 

 

While he is 50 shades of boring, she is delightful.  Really like this silly dress for some reason.  I just wish the shoes weren't so "sandal" like.  Girl coulda' fancied that shit up.

 

 

...almost fit.  Missed it by "that" much.

 

 

They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,

*snap snap*

 

 

Gorgeous for a banana peel.  I heard Kathy Bates tripped on her. 

 

 

Love her.  Love this.  Love her husband the most. (Krasinski)

 

 

Way to match those big blue eyes big eyes.

 

 

Cut, nailed it.  Fabric, lame....get it.  Lame, lamé. (Accent aigu, tricky little devil).



 

She crushes this shit she does.  Pacey is one lucky man.

 

 

A lot of worst dressed lists have her on it.  Not I.  I have her on my, "I have Barbie arms" list.

 



 

I have this exact belt.  Bought it at Target.  

 

She's lovely.  Brocade is as well.  On curtains. 

 

 

At the last minute we realized she had hips, insert panels here. 

 

 

If you're beautiful and you know it, clap your hands.

 

 

I just think "breast feeding".  I don't know why.

 

 

I am a diva, and I know I am.  Sophia Loren called to thank you, she was tired.

Jeremy Renner spoke of her "golden globes" on live TV.  *snort*

 

 

She said, "it took 30 people to make this dress".  Wonder how many it will take to burn it?

  

 

One gust of wind and she will give you a peek of her peekachoo.  

 

 

My Orville Redenbacher, "OMG it's a bag, he made a bag!" popcorn looks exactly like this!

 

 

"It's Valentino"..... oh and "a bad idea".

 

Love her.  Hate this.  Blouse is great.  Cut of the skirt at the waist, awesome.  The ruffles, no.  The sparkly wrap made into a tie, no.  There is an obvious need for more designers willing to go big(ger).  It's shameful.  More of us actually eat sandwiches.   She's famous.  You would sell a ton of clothes to all the women of the world, not starving themselves.

  

 

Pretty perfect.  She's done this before.

 

 

I guess they do call it "dress up".  Not sure you have to wear everything you own (see flower in the ear, belt, earrings, purse, 17 bracelets.....)

 

 

You could share the sandwich.  Baby steps?

 

 

Best accessory of the night.  

 

 

Actually hers wasn't bad either.  My cousin said, "ugly gloves, ill fitting, horrible".  I said, "she's 87 pounds, they don't sell gloves in the Dior kids section.  North West hasn't wanted any yet". 

 

 

Horse tails are only accessories when braided on a horse.

 

 

I love the halter.  I love the fit of the entire dress.  I like the hair change.  Black, snore.  Cumberbatch... amazing.  Cumberbund.....awful.

 

 

Colour on this beauty, stunning.  The bathing cap ruffled top, not so much.

 

 

I AM Cindy Crawford. The Original Super Model.  From the 80s.  See this is my dress, from the 80s. 

  

 

That's right, JLo who?

  

 

One of my favorite outfits of the night.  Big bow on her ass like she's a giant present.  Which she is if you ask me.  Watch Birdman. 

 

 

Resting bitch face, fail.  How to highlight your fillers 101?

 

My Barbie Arms got straightened. 

 

 

 

Pretty sure NO ONE will ever age this well again, work done or not.  Not meaning it was done but we don't speak of it often.

 

 

I don't know why everyone hates on her.  Only thing I hate about her is the name of website/company. 

 

 

Can't find a clearer picture but you get the gist.  Finally an outfit I can get my head around girl.

 

Highlights:

 

Jeremy Renner did indeed refer to JLo's "golden globes" when she offered to open the envelope as she has nails.....enter Renner with, "you have the globes too".  BAHAHA  She mutters something to him after that off camera.  I am sure it was, "I am going to cut you". 

 

 

Oh no you di'ant.

 

Meryl (first name basis ya'll) takes a picture with Margaret Cho doing her best Kim Jong-Uhhnnnn. 

(yes aware).

 

 

Talk about character actors.  (Meryl's smile could be interpreted as great acting or totally racist, up to you really).

 

George Clooney arrives with new wife. 

George Clooney speech includes adoration of wife.

Women swoon all over the planet.

Publicist yells in front of TV at home, "nailed it bitch".

 

Tina and Amy kill it.  Wish there was more of them, and less of, "I want to thank my agent, oh and god". 

 

They opened the Globes with a hell of a monologue.  See the link below.  It was great.  Especially the Clooney part.  Hilarious.

 

GG 2015 Opening Monologue

 

Loved it.  Start to finish.  "Cake is a fluffy, sugary dessert". 

 

 

......"and Sleeping Beauty thought she was just getting coffee with Bill Cosby".

 

Oh they did, and rightly so.  Perhaps you thought it inappropriate to joke about rape (see Jessica Chastain's face in the inset picture).  I didn't see it that way.  I saw it as two women, two intelligent, fierce women, calling out a man for behaviour unacceptable in any time.  Now or otherwise.  Largely unchallenged, definitely unpunished.  They were putting the Network (once a voiced supporter of Cosby's) and Hollywood on notice that Hollywood is ridiculous in it's acceptance of these acts.  Ridiculous in any support of Cosby.  And they did it the only way they know how, by making fun him.  Making HIM the joke.  Because he is.  A pathetic joke of a man.



 

Rickey Gervais....just makes me laugh when he giggles.  It's hysterical.  I wish I could post the link of his part but the sound quality is poor.  When he goes on about watching John Travolta mess up Idina Menzel's name at the Oscars last year, and how, "I still watch it on YouTube, every day, it's brilliant isn't it?".....good stuff. 

 

In case you missed it because you only just moved out from under your rock. 

 

Whoopsie.

 

50 Shades of Grey actors presented together with about as much chemisty as I have with liver and onions.

 

The President of the Foreign Press got a standing ovation when saying,

 

"The freedom of artistic expression...is a beacon across the globe...We stand united everywhere from North Korea to Paris". 

 

These Globes followed the most amazing rallies across the world in support and solidarity, of and with, freedom of speech and global unity against terrorism.  It was beautiful.  Here are just a few shots of the awe inspiring movement for peace. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It should be said, this was the largest rally in the history of France, Paris and perhaps the world.  And it was, for all intensive purposes, entirely violence free.  A peaceful rally in response to violent acts.  Stunning.  And something we should hold onto, for like, a really long time.  *sniff*

 

And finally, one of my favorite speeches of the night comes from all places, a hip hop star.....here is the part of Common's (actor Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr) speech that really touched me.....

 

"I AM the hopeful black woman who was denied her right to vote.

I AM the caring white supporter killed on the front lines of freedom.

I AM the unarmed black kid, who maybe needed a hand but received a bullet instead.

I AM the two fallen police officers, murdered in the line of duty.

Selma has awakened my humanity".

 

 

I have been struggling with my humanity as of late with all the bad things in the world and the debates that have ensued.  Perhaps I've been looking in the wrong language. 

 

Je Suis Charlie.