DBPW Day 119 - The Diary end is near

I just wanted to let you all know, I am thinking I will actually stop writing this Diary on Day 120.  I am not going to stop writing, by any means, but I am going to stop the daily journaling.  120 days is 4 months of my life.  That's a lot of living. 

I don't always want to be writing when I go through these Bi Polar lows and I've gone through at least three since I started journaling to you all.  I don't want to be talking about these lows for days on end.  Talking about them doesn't do anything to help me, it almost makes the impact of them as I write, harder.  I might be helping someone else and I know that.  I won't stop doing that.  I will write about lows again, but I don't want to be committed to writing through each, and every day.  I will continue to post about things I care about, funny, sad or otherwise.

Right now we are adjusting my meds and I could be low for a week or more.  I can't see myself being able to write about this for that long.  I can't see this not becoming considered gratuitous whining and complaining.  I don't want that for me or for you.  There's a small chance I could end up in an Emergent situation where I am hospitalized during a low.  It's hard to write from a straight jacket.  LOL (Sad but true I can only assume, I've never tried.  Sounds trickier than I am).  

I have more than enough highs and lows in here to get a book from it.  I need to add to it to make it less diary and more learning and teaching.  But I am ready for that, ready to move forward.

I hope that I have helped people writing this way.  I hope there are souls out there that now know they are not alone in this battle, there are more of us out here suffering too.  But if I can stay strong, so can you.  I hope you know that.  Even for those of you that suffer low days, nothing to do with Bi Polar or even suffering from depression, just a down day.  I hope you know, you can always know I have experienced something similar to what you are feeling.  I am still here, so can you be.

So you have me for 1 more day.  And then....I am sure I will write another post that very next day. 

Today has been mostly about me remembering that I have nothing to feel anxious about.  Nothing that should make my chest feel a flutter.  Happiness is only a thought right so I am going to think it.

Just keep learning, just keep learning.