Friday, March 21, 2014

DBPW - Day 47 Apples to oranges, they don't compare.

I have company this weekend so any posts are going to be short and sweet so I thought I would tackle this one while it was on my mind. 
 
 

I saw this the other day and posted it on FB for my friends to see and agree too, as I am so agreeable too.  I am not sure there isn’t a woman alive who hasn’t said, “You’re prettier than her”.  In fact I know a girl who would ask that question every single time she split with a boy, “I’m prettier than her right?” We all do it.  “Fat ankles” joke didn’t come from nowhere.  We needed something to pick on the Super Model for.  We are essentially insulting another for our own self worth gain.  And 9 times out of 10, it's not working, and sometimes not even the truth.  Cindy Crawford's ankles are just fine, beautiful in fact.  Mine have a nicer definition by tattoos but if she got one, we'd be tied again.  Seriously though, we insult another to gain???  Does that feel right when we talk about it outright like this?  Does it?

I’ve written about this before, about how when I see someone particularily beautiful I will say so.  I tend to stick to ladies because when it’s a man I get all flustered and can’t talk properly anymore.  I used to have such game with the boys, no more.   I think women need to compliment women more.  We need to show not only are we content within ourselves and not jealous, but that we are noticing the beauty in others. 

I once had a friend say, “when you compliment me I always seem to feel bad”.  It was because I used to say, “God you look so good, I am so jealous”.  What I left her with was, “I am so jealous”…."oh of me, I am sorry" she would think.  Instead of leaving her with “God you look good” end of story, I was leaving her as if she never got the compliment at all.  I don’t do that anymore.  It resonated with me.  I now compliment and that’s that.  I don’t compare.  "You look fucking fantastic".  I don't even ask what's in the water they are drinking anymore.  They just look great!  I will find my own fountain of youth.
 
 

My grassy ass is no greener than your gracias.  Trust me.  Maybe you might think that I am thinner than you, have better clothes than you, hair, skin, whatever.  But I guarantee you I am looking at you thinking, “ohhhh how I wish I had a waist like her”.  While it’s okay to think these things, we cannot define ourselves by others.  It’s like comparing apples to oranges, you are going to look pretty stupid in the end they are different fruit.  End of story.  

Have you ever said, “things could be worse” while looking at someone in humour.  Basically you are saying, "hey look there, I could be worse off, I could be them”.  Think about that for a second please.  Get out of the moment of self loathing and realize what you have just done.  You have looked upon someone you think is in a very bad position in life and mocked them for it.  You compared your apple ass to their orange and you don’t even know if they are riddled with disease.  Or maybe, just maybe, they are healthy and happy, content as a clam and there you are comparing yourself in misery.  Who's better off now?

We need to stop women, ladies, girls….we need to stop.  No more telling our kids, “Oh you are so much prettier than your bestie”.  NO MORE.  “You are BOTH so beautiful”.  While we want our children to have a strong sense of self it shall not be at the expense of another girl thus ingraining the training (ooooh that’s a rap song in the making, say it like "insane in the membrane") in our young girls. 

Take a moment today, compliment yourself then go find someone else to compliment and don’t judge them or yourself while doing so.  Just give it away, give it away now (sorry little Red Hot Chili Pepper moment, I am feeling very musical).  Go and give joy for free.  It costs nothing if have no judgement of yourself as you do so. 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

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