1) I have done this in most cases. I have a couple of friends that I have a long history with and I feel I haven't yet reached peace with. On a brighter note, I have two parents that I felt very wronged by and I love them today. For years I held onto a lot of grief and anger. I took a course with a friend where I realized that while they didn't make the best decisions as parents for me, it didn't "mean" anything about me although I made it so. When my Dad left, he left me, not my Mom. Wrong. He left their marriage and I was a casualty of that. That's all. He meant nothing by it. I went through all the motions I needed to go through to find peace. It helps in life. I used to feel so uncomfortable talking, visiting, not talking, not visiting, both my parents. Now, I enjoy time with them as much as any person does with cray cray parents. Kidding kidding, although let's be real, they DID produce moi so.....
2) If someone hates you, says they do. If someone thinks your fat, says as much. If someone thinks your dumb, says as much. If someone thinks you are ugly, says as much. None of that is any of YOUR business. In other words, other people's thoughts, opinions, the things they say, mean nothing. They really do mean nothing. They are none of your business nor should they be. They belong to the person thinking those negative thoughts. Even positive, "you are so wonderful", is lovely to hear but shouldn't affect your day. I am still working on this one but it's so true how much life would be easier if it was less about someone else and more about what you think and feel.
3) Time got me 1) and 2) and time will complete one and two for me. Now is time. In the next second of time we have a completely different NOW. Think about that, but not for too long cause the next NOW could be better than the last if you don't think too hard. LOL
4) I said it in 2) but no one's opinion of you matters but your own. If you have a healthy self esteem, nothing can take you down. I am in total charge of my own happiness. I know I know, other people hurt us, demean us, are mean, are hurtful, or the opposite, are good to us, love us, tell us how great we are. None of it matters. It's not our business and if it's not our business then it has nothing to do with us. And if it has nothing to do with us then our emotions, our self esteem, and our happiness are completely under our control and our control alone.
5) Never compare your life to others. The grass always appears greener, in most cases because it's loaded down with bullshit (fertilizer). I live in a huge house. It's beautiful. My property is beautiful. The things in my home are pretty nice. All that said you have no idea what my debt is, you have no idea what my financial situation is beyond this house. You don't know unless I tell you that I am Bi Polar and on sick leave. I may never work again. I went from making X amount to next to nothing by comparison. So maybe your paid off little bungalow you loved before seeing my house ain't so comparable at all, maybe it's 100 times better? You don't know.
6) Not having the answer means you have an opportunity to learn and learning takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. Sometimes it's fast and painful as hell. Either or, time. Time not only heals all things it answers most things as well. Unless you are not open to learning. That choice is yours and yours alone.
7) Smile once a day at something. If there is a cartoon that makes you laugh, post it on your fridge like my Dad does. If you find a cartoon online, use it as your screen saver. If you have goals and dreams, put them on a vision board somewhere you look each day and smile at your dreams. Just smile once a day at the very least. I suffer greatly with Bi Polar depression and often find myself laughing in the middle of it at my favorite TV shows which I tape without fail so I can have that laugh. I have cartoons that make me smile so they are all over my computer for me to laugh at. A smile a day keeps the demons away, at least for the NOW moment in which you smile.
I hope this resonates with some of you. It did with me obviously.
Deep thoughts but one crazy assed bitch, being me.
love you girl > JEN
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