I am happy!
I am happy!
There is no reason for me not to be happy.
There is no reason for me to worry about what I cannot control.
There is no reason for me to be sad.
I am not actually sad or unhappy. I am just creating a mantra to remember. I think sometimes I have too much time on my hands and I let my mind wander to places it doesn't actually belong. I think we all need to tune the world out. I need to tune the world out.
I have zero reasons to be unhappy. I am beautiful, smart, married to a great man, have happy beautiful kids. I don't have to work. I don't have to stress.
Hmmmmm, sounds alright doesn't it. :)
I need to turn off judgement entirely. I don't need to judge things positively or negatively. I need to just see them for what they are.
Compassion can hurt, very much so. I have a deep compassion and empathy for everyone, even those who may not have treated me well. If they get hurt, I will ache for them. I can ache for them if its I who hurt them. I always regret that, even if some would say it's due or warranted. It's who I am. It comes from a place of not receiving a lot of compassion or sympathy myself growing up and knowing how much that hurts. When you feel connected to everything and everyone, you cannot often turn your back and turn away, you are bound to others in a very unique way and it can be tremendously exhausting and painful. But when they say you must learn how to carry the Universe or be crushed by it, no, that's not true. You must learn how to separate yourself from it. You cannot have a bleeding heart that leads to significant blood loss and death. You must learn how to protect yourself without changing entirely who you are. I refuse to empty myself, it shall not be so. I will grow stronger and stronger so that I can choose when it's best to have empathy and act upon it and when it's okay to just feel and move beyond it.
I chose to put up this one today because I am the type of person that sees, say for example, a Food Drive for Easter. And money or not, I will think of someone having no food at Easter and fill and extra cart at the grocery store. I will come back the next day with kids toys from the Dollar Store or even my own house sometimes. All I hope in those moments of giving is that some day, someone will be so kind to me if needed. I hope that my doing so inspires others to do so as well. Lead by example.
Pay it forward but stay right here, in the now.
P.S. I cannot believe I said I would do this for 365 days!!!! Sometimes I am not sure I have anything to say anyone would care about. AND AND I am having a hysterectomy this year. Not sure how I will be typing those few days after the surgery but it sure should be entertaining as hell. "I am higher than high....oh look, a unicorn..."
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