DBPW - Day 60 Odds and Sods....

Hello all.  What the hell does odds and sods mean anyways?  Odds I get.  Oddities, odd numbers, various.  But sods?  Do most people have multiple sods?  I guess you need a lot of sod for a lawn, multiple rolls and none of them exactly the same.  I looked it up, it comes from Odds and Ends.  Just another way to say the same.  I have to look this shit up or it makes me crazy.  It’s why I try hard NOT to think so I don’t have to go looking this shit up.  I’d rather not question than find the answer.  Okay that was a bold faced lie.  I would always rather have the answer.  I am a learning kind of girl.  Now that I am done lying and jibber jabbering….*sigh* I need to go look that up, be right back.

I wasn’t sure what to write about today.  Can you tell?  (see above).  I have my period.  Seems like a non- starter topic.  *Snore*.  I have cramps, SHOCKING ending there.  I went to the gym, do that every day, nothing unusual happened.  Well that’s another lie actually *head hung in shame again*, I won 2 free months of membership yesterday in a food drive draw.  Pretty sure I won by bringing in 25 pounds of food which is 25 entries.  You shove 25 entries into a box where everyone else has 1, ODDS are (*snort*) you’re gonna win.  And then end of workout I showed a lovely lady how to stretch.  I just offered up myself to show her, all nice and stuff.  See I can be nice.  Apparently I am a little to Gumby like for her.  She didn’t like my touching my nose to my knee.  "Listen lady a girl has to earn her diamonds". 

 

Another woman, older gal who never stops talking in there stopped talking long enough to tell me my tattoos are "for life".  *laugh* I told her kindly I was aware and then she said, “can’t you see me now, having tattoos up my arm, I’d look kind of odd don’t you think, don’t you worry about that?”.  So I said, “well look at ya, you’re all hip and staying young with us at the gym, I think you’d rock out the tats”.  “The what???” she exclaimed.  I think she mistook me for saying “tata’s”.  LOL  I said, “I think you’d rock the tattoos”.  “Gosh no,” she replied.   And then, and then….thank fuck she’s cute as hell she says, “what the hell do they all mean anyways”.  Once I was done explaining she said, “so they all have some pretty deep meaning to you?  Guess that makes sense, you see kids today with their Momma’s name on them, if that were my kid I’d slap it clean off em”.  She was on fire today.  Then with a complete straight face she says, “You know you could just write the thoughts down”.    Okay lady, enough, I get it, you don’t approve.  Are you besties with my husband or what?  I just finished telling him I am adding to my arm again.  He wasn’t pleased.  I don’t care, it’s MY ARM.  I am bi polar, he’s lucky I am not cutting off limbs entirely for my artistic personality.   I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, gamble….Fuck I am practically Sandra Dee.  I shop a little, have some extra ear piercings and some tattoos.  Tattoos, that when I am fully dressed don’t even show.  Besides that, I am going to ZERO functions where I wouldn’t feel like they weren’t accepted, ZERO.  Take me or leave me.

 

To compliment someone you give them some extra self worth.  Extra self worth adds happiness and confidence.  Happiness and confidence is carried like a badge of honor and can in itself make another person's day.  Unhappy, unconfident people are mean as dogs a lot of times because they take their confidence through the harming of others.  So boost someone today and see if you can't get one person to lose their attitude and make someone else's day. 
 

I wanna thank a bunch of people who read my post yesterday and talked me off the ceiling.  Okay I wasn’t up there, I am not a cat.  Also a drama queen friend of mine gets that description.  No thank you.  I had a great group of friends, a circle, sisters we said that hung around each other all the time.  From there as we grew up we went to “girls weekends” then later weddings.  You know, you drift as life gets busier.  One friend, the drama queen (surprising I know) started becoming more and more obvious with her negativity where I was concerned.  She was fine with me one on one but behind my back she would say, “she did this or that” instead of “we had a great weekend”.  It all got to be too much when she said a lie about my husband and I and I lost my marbles.  I went off the deep end.  I went over overboard, like clear out of the ocean overboard.  I admit, and have apologized for it as well.  But our friends, our mutual friends went running to care for her and left me lost.  I was only on half the medication I am on now and if you follow me you know I have very dark and suicidal lows.  They all sat holding her hand as I was lost.  Either way, what it is, is.  I cannot change the past, it is what it was and now it’s over. She was calling out for help and I probably just appeared pissed off to them I guess, that’s all they saw.  Who knows, I haven’t asked.  But now they are reaching out, two years later.  I can’t help but think too little too late.  I don’t understand it, why now?  All it did yesterday was bring me to tears as it was the reaching out I wanted back then and I needed then, not now.   I am mourning the loss of them again I think because I know in my mind, I don’t need them anymore.  Wow, I just realized why I was crying so much, I am letting them go.  That’s what it is. 

That’s some realization there…..this writing thing helps a girl out.  Wow. 

I need a minute here.  Wow.

 

I love the release of the 99 Red Balloons.  You know it's in yer head now too, admit it.

What else?  Now that I have solved the world’s problem (you didn't know the world revolves around me?), what else do I have for you?  I booked a trip for my husband and I.  We were going to go to Arizona to see a friend in May or June, I know, can you say “butt sweat”?  Same friend asked if we wanted to go and stay at their time share condo in Cabos San Lucas.  Now can you say "butt sweat with a touch of ocean breeze?"  Considering its one of my husband and I favorite places we found ourselves begrudgingly saying yes so I booked that all on points today.  Used my excellent spending habits to pay for the entire flight, fees and taxes.  I knew those shoes online would come in handy.  Not only did they help pay for the trip they are gonna look fabulous pool side.  *snap snap*  Husband be damned, "too much shopping".  DENIED!  DENIED! 

I also got the details all finalized for my writing weekend in May.   Which I am very excited about.  Louise Hay of Hay House and Wayne Dyer offering writing and publishing advice, COME ON!  Not only do I think turning 365 days of Bi Polar into a book would be a good idea but I have “Divorce for Parents” handbook I’ve been working on, “The Sl*t in the Corner Office” about my time on Bay Street, “The Handbook for Ho’s” about taking control of your sexuality, all under way.  I just can’t seem to get back into them.  My head gets all muddled and I stare at them until my eyes get tired and do nothing.  Least this daily blog kind of has to be written, in my mind anyways.  Just finish the year and presto, a book.  Obviously I have to add, edit etc. but there are 5 contests for publishing and I think a “Year in the Life of Cray Cray” could be a best seller.  Not only am I insightful, I am hysterically funny.  Who wouldn’t want to read about my ups, downs, and crazy trains?

 

 

 

This is one of my favorite posting, life affirmation, joke things ever...."occasionally pee on yourself", "lick windows"...GENIUS.  If you do these things we can be besties, just friend me on Facebook.  It's how I make all my friendship dreams come true.

 

So I guess this is it until tomorrow.  Thank you all for your advice and for reading.  See you tomorrow.