Tuesday, February 18, 2014

DBPW - Day 16 - Eau d' what now?

Happy, your kids are back to school, day!

Last night my husband and I started the Second Season of House of Cards.  Holy shit that show is intense and we love it.  But my OCD kicked in because you really have to focus on the show to follow the politics and names and I found myself playing with my earrings, the backs of them and how tight in the ears they were.  It got to where I was going through all five earrings comparing the lengths of them in my ears, where the backs were, and over and over again and again.  I didn’t even notice until my finger started to hurt, I have a cut on one.  Yes I have five earrings in, I actually have three more holes but a girl can only wear so many diamonds.  I have to; a) get new matching backs for them all so I don’t do this shit anymore and likely b) get new drugs.  Well not new, increase the dose.  I am so scared of all these drugs I am hesitate to do these increases.  I still want to be me, hysterically funny and insightful.  I am good with being half a mess.  I think now though it’s time to accept some days I am more than half a mess. 
 
I straighten the pictures in every doctors office I have ever been in.  My therapist is all about willy nilly pictures.  I lie on the floor a lot with my back to it all.  *shiver*

I made the gym this morning.  I slept in until after 9am.  I just don’t sleep at night unless I double down on the sleep meds and I don’t like to do that either.  So I was up with the husband until midnight watching the show and then couldn’t sleep until 3am.  Ugh.  I coughed in my sleep at 5am and the dog hates when people cough, it really upsets him for some reason, it’s a new trait and he came over and put his front paws up on the bed to ask to come up and fix the coughing.  When I got to the gym a little later than usual there were one too many people in there.  Okay there was 3 too many.  Either way, it’s 30 minutes, I can do this I said to myself.  I got going and an older, very much so, like probably mid to late 80s came in.  She’s lovely, does her hair and make up before slipping on her little workout pants which look like dress pants.  She has to hold onto the machines next to her when she walks on the spot while the rest of us jog or dance.  She is really quite something.  But today, no sleep, when she walked in and took the machine right next to my mat, I almost lost in.  A woman even looked at me with a sympathy smile.  There was other places, better places she could have chosen but the one next to me was conveniently close to her. 
 
I be the latter.

Here were my issues with this;

-          I have a problem with people INSIDE my personal space, especially when I am moody.  ("This is my personal space and this is YOUR personal space " *holds arms like Patrick Swayze teaching baby how to dance*)

-          It took this lovely old bird an hour and a half to get off the workout machines.  It’s a circuit, so it is mat cardio, weight machine, mat cardio etc.  I was gonna be there for 8 days at the rate she was moving!  (I have 8 hours, don't get me wrong but a person an hour might buy the farm.  That's a lot of farms.)

-          She was covered in Eau d’ Toilette, you know, the cheaper stuff that is so very powerful you feel like you’ve been peppered sprayed? *cough* *choke* *gasp*
 


I have IOS.  I do.

When I have stress in my life and I am not sleeping I have no patience for this kind of stuff.  I love the old birds I do.  I am the first to take flowers to the Seniors Home up here.  I donate money regularly.  I give food to the Food Bank because we have elderly that need it.  I want to learn how to knit for them, bring them slippers.  Okay Okay, I have defended my position enough.  I wanted to leave the gym because of this old bird.  But I didn’t.  I did my mat 3 times.  Instead of once and to machine which keeps me beside her I did it three times letting her move 3 spots of away.  I was a good girl.  Unfortunately the fire inside me builds sometimes.  Where I can just let it go.  I get so angry and it builds and builds
I prefer the ground level.  Easier.
 
When I got home within seconds I took it out on my husband.  He was trying to shove much more than would fit into the fridge when we have one three steps away in our electrical room.  So being the charmer that I am I said, “When the fridge is full, we use the other fridge, when the fridge is full, we use the other fridge”.  I felt like chanting, “she puts the lotion on her skin”.  I fucking creeped myself out.  He walked down the hall doing what I asked and came back to me crying.  I said quickly, “God I am so sorry, that was awful, I am too tense, it’s not your fault.  I’ve mentioned over stuffing this fridge a billion times and I lost it, I am sorry”.  As usual he forgave me but what if, what if one day he decides he’s had enough????  What then?

I thought it said "hand job" at first.  Silly me.  You know how to keep your spouse loving you, love yourself. 

I think about that all the time if you can believe it.  How much harder and how much easier life would be alone.  How much less debt I would carry.  How my expenses monthly would be so much less, no ex wife or kids.  How much an apartment would be besides a huge home like this.  How I wouldn’t have anyone to lose it on so I could just bury it deep.  How when I wanted to not do anything, I could do absolutely nothing without someone watching.  No groceries, no bill payments for someone else.  How when I wanted to eat what I wanted, I could without someone watching.  I always lose weight alone so likely I wouldn’t eat which also gets me in trouble under my husbands watchful eye.  But then I think about all the love I would lose out on.  The love I have for him and the kids, our family.  How could I walk away from that?  I can’t.  There’s that evaluation completed.   But it’s an evaluation when I am low, I do too much.  And then I wonder, does he evaluate too?  And when he does, does he come up short?  I think so much too often.  And those are the bad days, the days when I think I am not enough.


*Breathe*

That was all just on my mind today after biting his head off.  I hope he never comes up short in his evaluation of me.  I hope he loves me forever.
 
I gave his HUGE hugs, huge hugs after my little temper tantrum. 

Remember that family stuff I keep mentioning well it’s my brother.  His life isn’t ideal right now so he is coming here to spend the day/night.  I so don’t want another person in my life right now.  I don’t handle people around me all the time well.  One off with friends okay but family, where I feel obligated to pretend to care.  Ugh!  I love my brother don’t get me wrong but his OCD is worse than mine and we will go over and over and over the same issue(s) while he is here.  I get short of breath just thinking about it.  But he’s my big brother and I love him so.  It’s what we do for family.  We love and put ourselves aside for them.  Don’t we?  Aren’t we supposed too?  I think it’s what we do.  We take care of them at the expense of ourselves sometimes don’t we?  Should I have felt the right to say no?  Probably feeling like I could say no would be acting much kinder to myself.  But I don’t.  And I am not sure I ever will. 

Thankfully I forgot how much I enjoy my brother, so there’s that.  He makes me laugh.  But I am high.  I was high within half hour of his arrival.  I am talking too fast, moving too fast, dropping things.  UGH!  I am gonna crash after the visit.  I will have to co-ordinate this week to accommodate this and settle down.  I have company this weekend which I want to enjoy, I miss them.  Girlfriends that I haven’t spent time with in too long.  This disease doesn’t exactly scream, “SOCIALIZE”.  And neither did I before I knew I had this disease.  LOL.  I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for months.  Then my husband is away so I get to come down alone.  It’s better that way.  He doesn’t have to take the brunt of it.

Being alone has its downside too, I drop REALLY low if I am not careful.  That’s when the dark thoughts come.  The “I am not valuable” thoughts.  I call them my dark thoughts but I do think about ending the pain of being low, it’s impossible not to when you can’t seem to find your way out of a whole, a whole I spent too much time in. 
 


Close the eyes and find the beauty in the mind, find the beauty in the soul, find the beauty in the heart.

Yesterday I said to a friend online, “Finally a chair that fits your height”.  She was sitting atop one of those ginormous over sized chairs tourist towns have.  Her response was, “Thank god you didn’t say my ass”.  Then today I was in the Pet store and again it happened, and the woman said something along the lines of “Thank god you didn’t say because you are ugly”.  What has happened to the world of women that it’s common place for us to insult each other?  NOTHING.  We don’t really do it to each other.  We encourage each other.  But you know who we DO do it to, ourselves.  Both of these women insulted themselves long before I even stood a chance.  It has to stop.  We need to stop.
 

It hurt like a bitch to get this tattooed so bloody well do what it says okay!?  Damn it.
 
 
If you can’t say anything nice about yourself, don’t say anything at all. 
 
Example:  I am a fun loving kooky chunky monkey and I love it all.   Try it. 

I should really have edited this, read it over, I didn't.  Sorry my bad. 
 

 

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