Irony

I often find that life likes to teach me over and over again the meaning of irony.    

i·ro·ny¹

ˈīrənē/

noun

1. the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

   "“Don't go overboard with the gratitude,” he rejoined with heavy irony"

   synonyms:

   sarcasm, causticity, cynicism, mockery, satire, sardonicism "that note of irony in her voice"

   • a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

     plural noun: ironies

     "the irony is that I thought he could help me"

     
     

     synonyms:

     paradox, incongruity, incongruousness "the irony of the situation"

     I was at my hairdresser's, (a word I hate as Sandra truly is an artist), and we got to chatting, as we often do.  She and I are friends, having known each other for well over 10 years now so we tend to get into long talks about anything and everything.  Today's topics were men, poop, and radical acceptance.  Not in that order.  

     
     

     On the topic of radical acceptance I was describing to her how it's almost always easier to accept a situation, person, or issue (or all of the above), than to fight it.  I mean there are times a fight is needed for change, for improvement to occur, but more often than not, acceptance is the better route taken.

     
     

     I recently posted this picture on Facebook;

     
     

     

     
     

     And I said the following in accompaniment to the picture:

     
     

     "Simple example:

      If you were at your kids school concert and someone taller than you sat in the seat directly in front of you and completely blocked your view, what solution would work better?

     A) Complaining about the size of their head?
     B) Moving?

     Accepting their head is huge and moving your ass is the only real way to enjoy your child's concert. I mean killing them is certainly an option but it's rude and you could miss more than a concert with the whole prison thing. 

     Deep thoughts".

     
     

     Today Sandra and I spoke of this at length and she commented on how she will now always think, "just move".  That the onus is really on us to decide what and where to fight or accept and chose wisely for an easier more peaceful life.  Then we talked about men and shit and how they are often interchangeable.  *laugh*  I left her place feeling a little better about myself than I had arrived, having spread my wisdom far and wide, and gotten new highlights and a fancy new haircut.  Both always brighten a girls day. 

     
     

     Even though I was struggling with the sudden feeling of bugs on my forehead, *swipes hair out of my eyes*, (I got bangs for the first time in a few years), I was feeling good. 

     
     

     Until.....I saw my car in the parking lot.  

     
     

     Do you know when parking lots push all the snow into one corner of the lot?   Typically taking up a full parking spot or two?  And as the season ends the snow melts but just enough remains that most of the parking spot is taken up with snow, leaving only half the length of a full spot?  Do you know how sometimes parking lots get full and people park in these spots anyways, only halfway into the spot because of the snow?  How about when they do it perpendicular to your spot?  And because of the aforementioned snow their SUV actually blocks you in by half a car length?  Do you know?  Do you?  

     
     

     I am not really sure how long I stood looking at this incredulously.  I think it was a few minutes at least.  I walked around both cars trying to do the math of how exactly I was going to get out of the spot?  Then it dawned on me the conversation I had just had about "radical" acceptance.  And I chuckled to myself....a little.  I got in my car and I accepted I might be there a while.  

     
     

     I tried for five long minutes to get out of this parking spot.  It was not a three point turn I was trying, it was a 12 step program.  I couldn't make it work, not without hitting the other car.  

     
     

     Here is a picture of what this looked like.  Just so you can fully appreciate what this person had, with full intention, done.  I say "full intention" because per the diagram, how could you not know what you were doing?  

     
     

     
     

     

     
     

     After my futile attempts I got out of the car to take a picture of the SUVs plate so I could have the grocery store, whose parking lot I was in, page the owner.  I am not sure how many dogs were in the car, but it actually moved when they started barking as I approached so there were a few.  Just as I took the picture and said, "Oh for god's sake, shut up!", to the barking dogs, I saw a woman approach.  She stopped and just gave me a wicked look.  I mean, to be fair to her, I had just told her dogs to shut the fuck up.  Because of that, more politely than the situation dictated, I said, "excuse me please, is this you?" and pointed to her truck.  Her response was an extremely blunt, "yes", with a look that very clearly said, "go fuck yourself why?"  

     
     

     Please remember at this point of the story that I am in full time therapy basically for emotional management, in large part due to my temper which is unusually strong in circumstances....oh right, just like this.  I was using every skill I had.

     
     

     I said simply, "You blocked me in".  

     
     

     And this is where the world stopped rotating and I almost passed out.  

     
     

     She responded with, "Oh I am sure if you tried twice"....or maybe it was, "I am sure if you turned twice"....

     
     

     It's quite unclear to me now as I couldn't hear past the swear words flying around in my head.

     
     

     And the sentence ended with....."you could have gotten out", I think.

     
     

     Big deep breath in, big deep breath out.  Rinse repeat.

     
     

     "EXCUSE ME?  I have tried AT LEAST six times to back out of this spot", I replied loudly, shocked at the look on this woman's face.  It was clear somehow she thought I was at fault in this parking spot mess.  

     
     

     "I'm sure", she muttered to herself.

     
     

     Oh no you di'ant.  *snap*

     
     

     I threw my car key/FOB at her hitting her in the mid section and yelled, "here's my key, you do it.  Get out of that fucking spot...go ahead!"

     
     

     She looked at the key on the ground then at me, and impatiently said, "I will move my car for you".

     
     

     Holy shit.  My mind was exploding right there.  I could feel brains actually oozing out my ears.  

     
     

     I got in my truck and took a big deep breath again knowing that if I furiously backed out of the spot I could hit something which has already cost me $500 this year thank you very much.  I cautiously and slowly backed up saying out loud, "accept this, she's a bitch.  Move on, you got this".  

     
     

     When I got around the lot and to the street light, there she was, going back across the street.  I assume back to the store she must have come from.  Meaning she had parked her car, walked across the street and had been actually watching the lot from the store.  Why?  Because she knew, SHE KNEW, she had blocked me in and would have to move her car if I came back.  Yet somehow she was being a bitch to me?  "Okay, this is okay, you got this Nicolle, doesn't matter.  She's an idiot.  No need to ruin your day".  

     
     

     And then I caught her eye and she began cursing and shaking her head at ME!  

     
     

     I think she lived.  

     
     

     The irony is, I taught someone today about radical acceptance and how important it is to pick your battles.  When it is simply easier to just "move", when faced with a problem.  Of course in my  defence.....the problem was, I couldn't "move" my car.   

     
     

     Ironic no?