Justin Bieber Piss Apology

The other day Justin Bieber, "the Biebs" (am I spelling that right? cause I could f*cking care less), well this punk assed kid decided it was appropriate when exiting a club through a restaurant's kitchen to whip out his tiny dick and piss in the mop and bucket of the restaurant instead of the bathroom.  You can hear him on a video going on about it being "how he rolls" as his entourage applauded his behaviour and his security looked on expressionless.  Bravo security cause there's no way in hell I could have remained expressionless.  There isn't enough valium or ativan on the planet to make me expressionless in that situation.  I have no idea how much these people get paid, this security type of person, but it must be loads to put up with that type of behaviour and not say a word, not a word!  Now that I think of it, it was a robot.  Has to be. 

The Biebs, finds himself today having to apologize for his actions, again, as usual.  I mean he did relieve himself in a bucket that someone somewhere at some point was going to have to empty and clean after this.  Imagine that's your job.  You work in a kitchen, perhaps you do the dishes and clean up after the kitchen staff and you have to watch this little shithead piss in a bucket you know you are going to have to clean.  How wonderful do you feel about yourself that this, this is your job.  This is how your day is going to end.  How good do you feel going home to your wife perhaps and answering the age old question of, "hi honey, how was your day?".

The Biebs finds himself having to apologize because someone in that situation decided to video tape him.  See this is what happens when you make millions and millions of dollars at the expense of the human race.  That human race pays for you to live, you realize that right?  The human race buys your concert tickets.  They buy your shirts, and stupid cologne, perfumes, key rings and other crap.  They buy your music.  Stupid boy band bullshit music that in 10 years will be made fun of no less than we do when speak of that ridiculous Doo Wop song those Hansen (Hanson?) kids sang and we couldn't get out of our heads.  "I will be your boyfriend" makes my ears bleed for the record and I am not even sure those are the actual words.  How is it a fucking surprise to this kid that someone was going to video tape this?  It could have been his own crew for god sakes.  It sounds like the lot of them, "Little Twist, Swizzle Stick", are genuinely good peeps, looking after his best interests and all.  I believe it's these same people that drive up and down residential streets with children playing at race speeds, smoking pot, yelling obscenities. 

I have decided my first post in my blog will be solving the problem that is, Justin Bieber.  One, someone in his life he loves needs to say the following; "you began this journey as an inspiration and you are well on your way to leaving it as a complete and utter disappointment to us all".  If that doesn't cut it, Two, someone in charge of his money needs to say "I am out".  Walk away from this little pissant and let him implode.  And Three, my personal favorite, everyone stop buying anything to do with him for a very large period of time, like a year, 365 days of Bieberless purchasing and see if that, making no money, wakes him up.  I tell you one thing, I am for number Three and so help me god, from yesterday until the day I die, there will never be a single piece of Justin Bieber merchandise in my home, ever.  I would slap the fan right out of my child if she was one.  Thankfully she is smarter than that and said long ago, "he's a bit of a punk, I don't like him".

Now listen, I don't want to shit all over this kid like he did the person responsible to clean up after him.  When this kid, see how now I am being all mommy like and trying to remember he's still young.  When this kid began in the business I thought, "wow, nice voice, can dance, seems to love his fans".  I was as much a fan as a Mom in her 40s with little to no patience for white kids wearing pants falling off their ass could be.  But at some point he's gone all Lindsay Lohan/Amanda Bynes.  He's lost the appreciation for his own god given gifts = any talent he has.  Perhaps his manager has taken on too many other clients, or his mother has left his side. I don't know what happened but he went from a cute kid with talent wearing stupid pants to an ungrateful punk.  Hey Usher, you out there?  Perhaps it's time for a lesson in humanity?  I don't know much about much but you seem to have your shit together Usher, never seen or heard this kind of crap from you.  Aren't you his mentor?  I bet Justin Timberlake's pretty happy he didn't "find" this kid now.  Notice how Ellen DeGeneres hasn't had him on her show as of late?  Pretty sure he doesn't meet her criteria anymore.  I could be wrong but I am pretty sure she wouldn't approve of all his ludicrous behaviour.

If you want me, as a human being, to "belieb" you are actually sorry you little shit, walk into that restaurant, and ask for the person responsible to clean up your urine last night.  Stand in front of that person, take their hand in yours, (please wash yours first, I hope they haven't), and thank them for cleaning up after your sorry ass.  While holding their hand in yours and with pleading eyes, you can then apologize to them for your behaviour.  And finally as a show of good faith ask them what they make in a year and cut them a cheque for that amount as a thank you for not punching you right in the face. 

That is how you can start to make me a belieber because all I can think of over and over is "you little shit, you puissant, little asshole, how dare you treat another human being that
way!"

 

Photo: Courtesy of TMZ.com

 

 

Don't even get me started on the fact Bieber followed this all up with spraying cleaner on a picture of the former President of the United States of America, Bill Clinton while saying "fuck you Clinton".  Classy.  Way to respect the country.  The only joy I get from that is the pleasure of saying, "I am surprised he was smart enough to know who the hell Clinton even was.  I am sure that security guard told him".